Take Responsibility (Originally written 10/5/2007)

Those of you know me know that I am a compassionate and considerate person; always seeking to help out someone in need. I wasn’t always that way. I realized long ago that people will unfortunately take advantage of you if you care about their predicament. They use you and leave you when they are done. So I closed up and became extremely guarded. The past couple years have rekindled a love for my fellow man. Still a guarded love, but one not lacking in compassion for those I see truly need help and will appreciate it. I’m careful who I help and really expect nothing more than a thank you. I don’t need to be paid back if I loan money, I don’t need the favor reciprocated. If I can help ease someone’s troubles (whether it be by listening, giving advice, or loaning money) my mission is accomplished. It makes me feel good to help people.

But I wonder why are so many people apprehensive to show thanks? Pride could be one answer. Pride is our personal arrogance but also a healthy dose of self esteem. It’s a truly interesting contradictory animal (one that warrants a future note?). It’s intriguing that people ask for help, but are often embarrassed by the mere thought of asking. There have only been a few times when I have been too prideful to ask. If you don’t ask, you don’t learn and learning is a life long lesson. But when someone asks for help and help is received, they should appreciate it and offer up their thanks. If no thanks is received or if no perception that the helper’s actions are appreciated, the helper may feel used. Sometimes just a twinkle in an eye or a simple showing of trust (i.e. sharing something not many people know) may be enough to show appreciation. It doesn’t need to be verbal communication.

Another form of appreciation is showing that although those in need are going through a hardship, they strive to better themself if possible. While not always a possibility especially in poverty-stricken areas and among the uneducated, if those in a position to improve should attempt to improve. With some support they can achieve this even though it may be difficult. While some people appreciate support, others just seem apathetic. I think it’s so sad that there are people who just seemingly don’t care about those who rely on them. They don’t care that their wife and children may leave them to find “bigger and better” things. They don’t care about their job, and don’t realize how lucky they are to actually have one. They laugh and scoff at the thought of being fired as they simultaneously complain that their children and wife don’t have enough to eat and they can’t afford gas for their vehicle. What the hell is wrong with this picture? Do some people expect someone to be their maternal figure their whole lives; someone to hold their hand and feed them when they don’t feel like going on? Lack of responsibility.

Responsibility for actions. Don’t get me wrong I feel bad that people face these situations on a daily basis and I will continue to help, but if I perceive that my help is being used as a means to simply lessen their responsibility, my help will be discontinued. I will continue to pray for them, but physically and maybe even mentally helping them may cease. If someone cannot be responsible for things they have done/are doing in their life, why should I accept responsibility for them? There are those with mental disabilities that are incapable of being fully responsible and yes they should be helped in anyway they can, without denying them their individuality.

It’s a precarious situation; that of helping people out. I will continue to help out my fellow man, but I find it hard to help those who cannot and do not accept responsibility for their own actions.